lets try this again

ok so the last month has been crazy. I know that isnt an excuse but, I did not have a consistent schedule and as of Jan 1 I will my dad told me that he has enough work to keep me busy full time.

And since I have been waking up at 530 am I figured that I would get up and do 10 or so minutes of meditation and then do my morning pages.

Well. well, well

I did so good for a while...I need to start again

Wednesday/Thursday/Friday//Saturday - Week 3

So I tried to be better this week but I didn't do much better.

Yesterday was a good day, I didnt have work, and I had a spark of inspiration. I woke up from a nap and went to run some errands. Then I went in to the bookstore and picked out a bunch of magazines for inspiration for our new business.

Tuesday - Week 3

I had my second appointment with Dr C today.

I have decided that I need to start exercising, for real and eating better. I am also going to take vitamins and the L Lyciene for thr cold sores.

I feel so bad for C he has been so depressed lately. Cause he doesn't get to go play all day

I had an oppertunity to be creative today but I opted for a nap, which in a sense was well warented because I was sick all weekend and worked early shifts. But my plan tomorrow is to go to work, have lunch with T, then hang out with C and then go to the gym.

Monday - Week 3

Ok, so I took last week of just cause I honestly was lazy and did not do them because I forgot to do the reading. So it is strange how this whole process works, last week would have been the perfect week to read the third chapter because it talks about the anger. I worked on a letter to S who is my old bosses boss. Letting her know how her management team treated their team, writing it made be feel a lot better.

Also in my meeting with Dr. C I also found some justification in my feelings of betrayl. He told be that those are perfectly normal feelings to have under the circumstances.

My pottery class is fun.

C is being a pain.

I sent a email to B because I still like him as s human being and wanted to see what he was up to...is that bad?

M and I are going to take a class on starting a small business...which should be fun and interesting.

I have been sick the last few day and so has T. I am kinda glad I have not seen him in a few days because I was really pissed at him the other day. I had asked him to do me a favor...nothing outrageous, just to help me out...and he didn't do it, he forgot, after all the times I have done nice things for him.

I kinda want to ask him where this is going.

I think I am just restless, and I know I am un a rut.

I need a little vacatio.

maybe I should go visit R in PHX

Detective Work, and Exercise

1. My favorite childhood toy was...barbies
2. my favorite childhood game was...house
3. The best movie I ever saw as a kid was...
4. I dont do it much but I enjoy...gardening.
5. If I could lighten up a little I'd let myself...be flirty and out going
6. If it weren't too late I'd...tell K and M how I felt.
7. My favorite musical instrument is...the piano.
8. The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month is...unknown.
9. If I weren't too stingy with my artist I would buy her...a nice studio.
10. Taking time for myself is...hard to do.
11. I am afraid that if I start dreaming...I will get my hopes up.
12. I secretly enjoy reading...novels for teens.
13. If I had had the perfect childhood I would have grown up to be...I like what I am.
    
14. If it didn't sound crazy, I'd write or make a...mural.
15. My parents think artists are...I do not know.
    
16. My God thinks artists are...cool.
17. What makes me feel weird about this recovery is...that its so hard to get the enery to do it and to be honest with how I feel.
    
18. Learning to trust myself is probably...the hardest thing to do.
    
19. My most cheer-me-up music is...any thing that has a good beat, that I could run to.
    
20. My favorite way to dress is...in jeans and a t shirt.
    

desire

desire, ask, believe, recieve
-Stella Terrill Mann